Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Quarter beets and toss in a bowl with olive oil. Place on the prepared baking sheet.
Roast in the preheated oven until a knife can be easily inserted into a beet, 35 to 40 minutes. Set beets aside to cool slightly.
Place the beets in a food processor along with the beans, tahini, lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, cumin, turmeric, sea salt, and garlic. Blend until smooth, adding small amounts of reserved bean liquid if the consistency is too thick. Transfer roasted golden beet hummus to a covered serving bowl and refrigerate until needed.
Decrease oven temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Spray 48 mini muffin tin cups with nonstick cooking spray.
Mix cornmeal, sugar, baking soda, and salt together in a large bowl. Stir in jalapenos, onion, and garlic. Add melted butter and mix well.
Stir corn, buttermilk, eggs, and bacon into the cornmeal mixture until incorporated. Add shredded Monterey Jack cheese and mix batter well. Use a 1-tablespoon cookie scoop to fill muffin cups about 3/4 full with batter.
Bake in the preheated oven until puffed and golden brown, 18 to 20 minutes. Transfer from muffin tins to a cooling rack.
Mix cream cheese, garlic, vermouth, parsley, salt, basil, tarragon, sage, and white pepper in a food processor until smooth.
Fill salami slices with herbed cheese spread, roll, and secure each with a toothpick. Return rolls to the refrigerator until needed.
Mix ketchup, soy sauce, vinegar, sriracha, brown sugar, sesame oil, ginger, and garlic in a saucepan and bring to a simmer over low heat. Add franks and heat until warm, about 5 minutes.
Assemble the snack board by running a row of warm corn muffins diagonally across a large serving platter or cutting board. Pour saucy sriracha franks into a serving bowl and place at the top left of the board. Place mixed olives in a bowl and in the lower left corner of the board. Place pickled eggs and hot peppers next to the olives at the bottom of the board. Place the golden beet hummus to the right of the corn muffins, and place naan bread around the bowl. Fill in empty spots on the board with the salami rolls.
